So, my mom was just diagnosed with breast cancer. She's doing really, really well. Most of the time, I have to remind myself that she's sick. She's an absolute diva on this one: she never complains, she's only cried maybe once or twice, and she's unbelievably focused on maintaining her lifestyle, rather than letting cancer stop her or even slow her down. I'm in absolute awe of her.
But here's the problem: the one thing that makes her cry is her hair. She looks really good without hair or even a scarf or hat, but she hates it. We've shaved off what was left after it started coming out with chemotherapy, so that a wig would fit better, and it wouldn't look so straggly when she wore a hat or scarf. Unfortunately, even with a "natural scalp", as her doctor phrases it, the wigs still come off at random and embarrassing intervals! Really hard to feel good about yourself when that happens.
Does anyone have any ideas on how to fix the problem? You can't really use toupee tape or anything like that, since her skin has become really fragile and delicate. On that same vein, does anyone have any good suggestions for how to maintain a shaved head? Any boyfriends who did it, or anything like that? She doesn't really want to go to a barber every time, and since she doesn't shave her body hair very often, she doesn't really have a lot of experience with taking care of the skin when shaving, etc.
So, there you go. Wigs, shaving, and if you had any pointers on how to deal with really suddenly hyper-sensitive and delicate skin, that would be great to.
Thanks, ladies!
But here's the problem: the one thing that makes her cry is her hair. She looks really good without hair or even a scarf or hat, but she hates it. We've shaved off what was left after it started coming out with chemotherapy, so that a wig would fit better, and it wouldn't look so straggly when she wore a hat or scarf. Unfortunately, even with a "natural scalp", as her doctor phrases it, the wigs still come off at random and embarrassing intervals! Really hard to feel good about yourself when that happens.
Does anyone have any ideas on how to fix the problem? You can't really use toupee tape or anything like that, since her skin has become really fragile and delicate. On that same vein, does anyone have any good suggestions for how to maintain a shaved head? Any boyfriends who did it, or anything like that? She doesn't really want to go to a barber every time, and since she doesn't shave her body hair very often, she doesn't really have a lot of experience with taking care of the skin when shaving, etc.
So, there you go. Wigs, shaving, and if you had any pointers on how to deal with really suddenly hyper-sensitive and delicate skin, that would be great to.
Thanks, ladies!
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California
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Re: Cancer Question
Sun, May 11, 2008 - 2:33 PMI had lymphoma last year. I lost my hair, and I was as vain about it as any of you, look back through my tribe album for pics.
As I lost my hair, I kept cutting it shorter, till I buzzed it. Never shaved to the scalp, I just couldn't look at the skin, but a military buzz, like 2-3 on the groomer tool.
So if her skin's reacting badly, DON'T SHAVE. I used an epilator on what little hair grew on my legs and pits.
I never wore wigs. I usually wore hats and bandanas and scarves to cover up. And I learned to rock the eye makeup, spent more time on mascara, liner, shadows, and lipstick. For a good deal of the time, a lot of people didn't even think I was sick, even though I was weak as a kitten. Maybe you can take your mom to a salon, or a MAC store, or Sephora, and get her painted up, buy a couple of new products, and that will help her feel better about how she looks.
I buzzed my hair for 3 months after chemo ended, to encourage regrowth. It's come back thicker than it was 2 years ago, before I got sick. Hers will too.
namaste
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Re: Cancer Question
Sun, May 11, 2008 - 3:41 PMthere are "wig bands" that are rubberized "flesh toned" things that sit arround the head under the wig you can get them at most wig shops. you can easily use the tape on them to hold the wig on better. or you can get a stretchy soft flesh tone fabric, make a head band out of it (stitch a tube & make it into a circle) wear it under the wig and then you can pin the wig to it. i have also used head covers made from cutting the legs off old silk long john bottoms, don't even stitch it just leave enough to fold over the top of the scalp to protect it from that scratchy lace they make wigs out of- you can pin into this as well.
I have alopecia- lost 80% of my hair 12 years ago- i shave off what's left but it still irritates my skin- i second not shaving if her scalp is tender.
usually a good clipper with no guard (for closest hair removal) works fine and you get a bit of "velcro" to help hold hats on!
hth. -
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Re: Cancer Question
Sun, May 11, 2008 - 4:01 PMThanks, guys. Really good ideas. And she's also loving the eye makeup, now more than ever. (Except her eyes keep watering, but that's always been like that, so we're not alarmed).
I'll keep you posted, and if we learn anything nifty and new through our experimentation, we'll let you know! -
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Re: Cancer Question
Sun, May 11, 2008 - 6:01 PMburningwoman.tribe.net/thread...66832bc
the gals there gave me some great support.
Waterproof mascara is mandatory. ;-) -
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Re: Cancer Question
Sun, May 11, 2008 - 10:20 PMI just read this post from the Burning Woman tribe, and it made me want to shave my head just so that I could decorate it! LOL!!! -
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Re: Cancer Question
Mon, May 12, 2008 - 7:34 AMWhen my daughters' step-mom starting losing her hair to chemo, my eldest daughter cut nearly 24" inches of her hair for Locks of Love, and her sister, Hannah, (who sported a short 'do to begin with) shaved her head in support, and kept is shaved for several months, she didn't let it start to grow back till her step-mom started growing her hair back. I was so proud of them. It takes huge kahones to for gal to go to high school ( and her prom) bald by choice. While Hannah was sporting her bald head I made her bindis (which later became Big Ass Bindis) to decorate her dome. Personally, I thought it was beautiful. -
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Re: Cancer Question
Mon, May 12, 2008 - 8:01 AMI very clearly stated to anyone considering shaving that they need not cut a single hair on my account. I wanted to look around at my friends and be reminded of their health and vitality, to encourage me to get well and re-join them. In NYC, there were already enough shaved heads to make me feel like I was fashion-forward.
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Re: Cancer Question
Thu, May 15, 2008 - 11:15 PMHi, I'm an 8 year survivor in just a few days. I lost all my hair, and it was painful! It hurts to loose your hair through chemotherapy. No body realizes it. I was told to use cortisone cream spray on my head when it felt like a boil. It wasn't a boil, but it felt like something like that... I was told. It did help in the initial stages of hair loss.
I had very long thick lovely hair when I was diagnosed in May 2000. I chose to cut mine off into a pixie cut. It was cute and made me feel new and special for a bit. Also cutting off your hair in advance won't clog your household water pipes with hair when it falls out. After the first chemo of a/c (adriamycin/cytoxin), my hair fell out into wads very quickly (on week after treatment). I'll never forget it. It was one of the hardest emotional hurdles. Once I lost the majority, it looked scraggly. My husband shaved my head on a Sunday morning in our garden room. I was ugly. I hated it. I never let not one other person ever see me or my head. And, I know, some of you may not agree with my attitude, but it was mine to have the way I wanted it. And, it worked for me. All of us have to struggle with what is right for ourselves. I looked good in everything but "bald headed." That's my humble opinion, and I'm sticking to it.
Wigs: I purchased Raquel Welch's line of wigs from "PAULA'S WIGS". They are cheap and good, beauitful even. (I gave mine away after my hair came back to another woman going through what I had gone through...cancer.) Their wigs had mesh breathable material, bands, and velcro connectors to tighten the wig on your head. Everybody grew to love me as a red head, and I wasn't before...but what the heck I had fun doing it. Also, I could wash them in soft soap frequently, just shake them out, and dry. They would reshape beautifully. I highly recommend those. They do even carry human hair wigs for a decent price as well. Look on line, because their catalog (which I can't find right now) no longer has as many options; but they do online. They have been around for a very very long time. My Ex-Showgirl mother in law told me about them; the gals wear them.
So good look with your Ma Ma. Wish her well for me. And, if you have any other questions about breast cancer related issues or need someone to listen, I would be happy to talk to you.
The good news... it grows back! And, is usually curly, so, you get a multi thousand dollar perm! Nice! I loved mine for a long time, but it has finally grown out into almost the same type of hair I had before cancer.
Hugs from a....Breast Cancer survivor ... 8 years 5/25/08!
Twyla
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Re: Cancer Question
Fri, May 16, 2008 - 4:10 PMHi Naomi, if you look at www.locksoflove.org/prostheses.html they describe wigs secured with a vacuum.
These are specifically for kids, but if the technology is out there you may be able to find them for adults too.
Best of luck to you and your mom!
~C -
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Re: Cancer Question
Fri, May 16, 2008 - 8:30 PMthere are prosthetic wigs available for adults- if you have to buy your own they run about 500 & up (at least that was the going rate when i looked last at them) they are extremely realistic and they stay on while swimming and other activities- you have to release the seal (so to speak) to get them off. the downside is you must be utterly bald or very close to it to get the suction right. -
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Re: Cancer Question
Wed, May 21, 2008 - 2:17 PMdoes anyone know why hair comes back curly after cancer? I've seen in happen to lots of people. I've also seen hair return the same texture as it left. Why?
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